Golf

I'm not bad at most sports - well I that's when I was younger - but golf was not a game I could get to grips with. I don't know why. Maybe because the ball was still when hit - but the white snooker ball is also still when hit and I was quite a fair snooker player. I think it has something to do with golf itself: the idea of golf in my mind, that it's an elitist game and you have to approach it with a certain kind of superior attitude. In short, I'm a bag of nerves when I'm on a golf course.
I remember being in a bar in Cardiff a long time ago and overhearing someone relating to another bloke a golfing experience.
"I was in the rough," he said, an expression on his face revealing tragedy. "The green was, O, 100, 150 yards ahead. Then I noticed my ball was on a little tump."
"Ah!" said his friend, eyebrows raised.
"I took a three iron," he continued.
"Mmm!" the other said.
"Brought it down and the ball sailed right up to the green and almost into the hole."
They both sat back as if they had just conquered Everest.
A similar thing happened to me once. There was a river between me and the hole. I too was in the rough. I was angry and hot and I wanted to be home or in the pub or anywhere but here in the rough. I too took a three iron, wabbled my arse about a bit, eyed the green and swiped.
The ball took off towards the hole then, for some inconceiveable reason, it plunged straight down into the river.
What a game! I haven't played since.