Gags and Bans

In last week's Spectator, Quentin Letts wrote a list of "What I Really, Really Want" for Christmas. Some of these were: "A referendum on Britain's future in Europe"; "A new shadow chancellor - the old one doesn't really work any more"; "Freedom for the Edinburgh pandas"; "A reduction in the number of pop songs on Desert Island Discs" - and so on.
Well, I have a list of my 10 wishes under the heading "What I'd like to gag or ban":
1. Fundamentalists of all faiths.
2. David Cameron's "We're all in this together" when simply we are not: some are in it deeper than others and some are not in it at all.
3. Modern poets/artists/composers.
4. Lists of best ever films, especially those that don't include "Shane", "City Lights", "Double Indemnity" and "To Be or Not To Be" (Jack Benny version).
5. The Archbishop of Canterbury's beard and eyebrows. They give him too much gravitas for what he usually has to say.
6. Politicians who keep telling us that we are drinking/eating too much.
7. MEP's. Can someone tell me what they do over there - apart from dine out at the best restaurants?
8. Cliff Richard.
9. Muslims who say "Islam is a peaceful religion". You could have fooled me, mate.
10. Muslims who say "I will not fight in a war against my brother Muslims". They're fighting each other all the time, mate.
10. Tracey Emin, Damien Hirst, Emma Thomson. I have good reasons for the first two, none for the last - I just can't stand her.