Sunday 29 August 2010

Cheers

Kingsley Amis was very good at picking up phrases people use casually and then using them to mock them. In "Jake's Thing" he has the main character meeting a series of lesser beings and finding that they would say "Cheers" to practically every request he made or to wish him goodbye or to greet him. He'd buy something and the seller, usually young, younger than him anyway, instead of saying "Thank you" would say "Cheers".
It was fairly obvious Amis didn't like this at all which is not surprising since he was a novelist of great literary talent and a wordsmith whose knowledge of the correct use of the English language mattered to him.
I can't say "Cheers" said to me makes me angry though it does slightly irritate me sometimes, especially if it is said in the place of "Thankyou" or "Good to see you" or "Goodbye".
"Have a good day" annoys me a little too, especially when it's late afternoon. "Take care" strikes me as meaningless - he doesn't raelly care what you do.
"I tell you what" also seems needless - except that the best joke in The Edinburgh Festival this year needed the expression I think: "I've just been on a Once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I tell you what - never again." Doesn't work so well without it.
Today a waiter, when I asked for a glass of water said "No problem". "No prob" is another variation of it, only even less likeable.
"Mate" is nuisance of a greeting, especially from a young person to an older one (I have never heard it said the other way round). And "There you go" seems to me meaningless: you are handed a glass of ale and "there you go" the barmaid says when you're not going anywhere except to your seat nearby.
"Squire" is as horrible as "mate", and "Young man" when you are obviously old is insulting.
"I have to go now."
"Well take care, mate."
"Goodbye then."
"Cheers, Squire and have a good day."
"No prob."

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